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小说杨不寻
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油盐不进百毒不侵，这是我对皓悭最新的评价。
仲毅已经去了仲羽的住处安顿，明心阁就剩下个皓悭，一开始他还常常假装一副胆小怕事的样，渐渐地发现我真的不会对他怎么样后，他就再也不藏着掖着了。
在明心阁里趾高气昂，言域跟我一道去时他就三棍子打不出一个屁，我一个人去，他就对我爱答不理。
我要是抱着亲儿子去，更厉害了，他还敢揪亲儿子的耳朵叫“小畜生”。
这治人的功夫，我不太行，雷念行，可是我要真把皓悭交给他，估计就是竖着进去，死着出来。而言域，他看上去比我还要忙，每天忙东忙西团团转飘来飘去很好看，他负责好看就可以了，软磨硬泡这种事……
还是交给仲羽去办吧。
不过三天，皓悭就哭着喊着要见我，说仲羽天天在明心阁他的房门口磨刀。
我说了仲羽一次，你这样吓唬他是没用的。
然后皓悭再来告状时，就说仲羽天天在明心阁院子里对刑部提过来的犯人行刑。
我就把仲羽赶走了，换人，换暮长烟。
皓悭不来告状了，暮长烟来了，说每次他去晓之以理动之以情，皓悭都像被人打晕了一样直接睡着，一睡不醒。
没办法又换成我去了，去的时候皓悭正蹲在院子里拿了根草戳一只甲虫玩。
我蹲到他旁边，他看看我，再看看我的手，不满道：“那小畜生你怎么没抱来？抱来好歹给我解个闷呢。”
“解闷？你知道等亲儿子长大了，一口能把你的头咬下来。”
“你就少骗人了，我一口把它的头咬下来差不多。”说到这，皓悭来了精神，“欸？对啊，我还没吃过狐狸肉！你赶紧把那小畜生给我弄来，我要烤了它！”
“哈哈大侄子，看来我最近对你确实是太好了，啊？”
说着我就站了起来开始撩龙袍和里面的裙摆。
皓悭跳起来跑出去两步摆出个防御姿态道：“你想干什么？你想干什么啊？我可告诉你，你就算打死我，我也绝不可能照你说的办！”
我对院子里清衣卫一声令下，上来两个将皓悭架住，我走过去一巴掌拍在他脑袋上道：“打死你？打死你不是便宜你了？”
“你！你还敢打我！你信不信我……”话说一半他突然抬腿踢了过来。
好在清衣卫眼疾手快一人一掌下去，这条腿估计两三天内没法走路了。
“啊！！！杀人啦！！！”皓悭哀嚎震天响，我头疼的捏了捏眉心。
让清衣卫找了绳子把皓悭绑在屋外门柱上，我捡起刚才被他拿一根草戳来戳去的甲虫，塞进皓悭脖领子里，这货好像比较怕虫子，顿时吱哇叫唤，哭喊连天，求饶求救，我就又让清衣卫找了块布塞他嘴里堵上。
哼哼唧唧不断但是也没那么闹的慌了，我对清衣卫说：“去抓甲虫，会咬人的那种，抓满两个罐子给我拿回来我要派大用场。”
清衣卫近来应该也是被皓悭扰的不善，听我这么说，几个人立马就去了，一刻都不带停留。
走之前还给我留了根鞭子，真好，我拿鞭子在地上抽了两下，力气不大，声音不小。
婢女给我搬了个凳子，我坐着翘起二郎腿，对皓悭道：“能不能好好说话？能就点点头。”
他立即点头。
婢女取了塞嘴的布，皓悭立马开始叫唤，我一鞭子抽在他脚边的地面上，皓悭脖子一缩，带着哭腔道：“虫子爬到裤子里了，往那儿爬呢！咬了我好几下了！小姑姑你快叫人帮我拿出来啊！再被咬几下我就要断子绝孙了！”
这明心阁的小婢女我就安排了俩，一个记不住名字，正陪着我对付皓悭的这个娇小的小婢女是百灵手下的，很机灵，名叫苗儿。
苗儿还是个小姑娘，才不过十六岁，可清衣卫刚被我使唤走，眼下要帮皓悭捞虫子总不见得我自己动手。
于是我对苗儿一笑道：“怕不怕脏了你的手啊？”
苗儿摇一摇头道：“陛下要我把虫子取出来吗？”
我点头，苗儿竟十分果断，一把扯开皓悭那清衣卫的白色外袍，另一手直接伸了进去，完全没有一丝的犹豫。
“哎呀不是那儿，你再往左边，左边，下下面不对上面！”
看着那裤子被苗儿的手撑起来的位置越来越诡异，皓悭突然放声大笑，“哈哈哈哈！你摸着孤的龙？根啦！羞不羞？你羞不羞？”
苗儿气呼呼的收回了手，又恶心极了将手在皓悭身上蹭了蹭。
“你笑什么？”我淡定微笑道：“你一个堂堂的皇帝，那地方不是天下女子梦寐以求要碰的地方么？可你瞧瞧，咱们苗儿分明恶心透了你，你还得意？”
“恶心？你胡说，孤这里可是金贵的很！苗儿，你给我说，你恶心吗？你分明就是高兴！”
苗儿比百灵活泼多了，此时也是忍不了了，“呸”了一声后道：“你当着咱们陛下干这等下流事，说这等下流话，不恶心你恶心谁？你还真当你是个皇帝了？咱们可不认你，你在咱们这就是个怂包！咱们只有一个陛下，你算个什么东西！”
皓悭大约从没被婢女这样骂过，先是愣了半天，又等着苗儿瞧了半天，忽而又哈哈道：“有意思，有意思！反正明心阁横竖也是无聊，苗儿你来给我做个侍妾呗！”
“呸呸呸！”苗儿一边呸一边退后了几步。
得，我这来了非但没治住他，还让他对我的婢女起了歹念了。
真是闲得慌了，我将鞭子丢给苗儿道：“等侍卫回来，让把虫子都灌他裤子里，反正摸过他的他都要纳进门，那这些甲虫也够他扩个三千佳丽了。”
踱步出了明心阁，哎，这人打打不得，骂又不顶用，到底有什么办法能撬开他的嘴，让他拟个诏书，盖个国玺呢？
偏偏仲毅又有言在先，国玺他且保管着，只要是皓悭自愿写的诏书，这国玺大印仲毅才能答应盖下去。
仲毅是仲羽的爹，又没得罪过我，又没犯什么事，我若是对他用什么强硬手段，那我跟皓悭有什么区别？不也成了个昏君了么？！
也许雷决真的有什么办法……我无趣的摸了摸鼻子，滚回书房，认真思考给雷决的信应该怎么个写法。
字丑就丑点，意思清楚就行。
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